Sometime ago I fell off my bike at Southwold and ‘bruised’ my knee. 4 weeks later it continued to hurt and I’ve was nagged such that I agreed to go to the doctors.. and so…
.
I call it ‘Receptionist’s Revenge’ or R R … the joy that the receptionist seems to get from sending an old man with a bad knee and a walking stick to the doctor on the first floor (where’s a sign for the lift? I ask myself). But I’m rather pleasantly surprised that my
grumpy, overworked, desperate to retire, regular doctor who tends to take the first 5 minutes of the 10 minutes he’s allowed with any patient, to discuss his own ailments, has transformed into a delightfully caring pleasant head scarfed woman of Asian origin who
readily held my arm for the 2 mile walk along the corridor to her consulting room on the first floor (RR). Which gave plenty of time for my knee to swell and for me to compose my first question. Why, I said seriously, are frozen peas always recommended instead
of sweetcorn? I can appreciate, I said even more seriously, that frozen runner beans would be a cruel irony since running is something I’ll never be able again (in this life anyway, I said to my Islamic professional support who may well believe in the agility of the afterlife).
As she tenderly tried to pull down the elasticated strap on my now swollen knee (that mistakenly is a size too small thanks to Amazon), it became increasingly clear that she
was not strong enough to lower it, moreover a passing nurse became anxious as I let out a chilling scream of agony as the elastic slapped itself back onto the swollen part of my knee. The nurse, who’s English was limited, thankfully recognised the universal language of severe pain and joined us.
Working in secular partnership we managed to remove the undersized torture device and, as I had predicted, it was frozen peas recommend for 2 minutes every 20 minutes. I think Bird’s Eye should add this to their cooking instructions. Needless to say I’ve been sent for an x-ray at the worst hospital on the planet (going on my previous
experience ) . And that was it…. nice to meet you she said but without any offers of help back or direction to a lift.
I gave a mean stare at the receptionist as I eventually passed her desk, but the look she gave back was enough to make me hop and skip, better than at anytime in the previous 4 weeks, as quickly as possible out of the building. RR
Stephen Peter Arthur Frean Harrison 