My local hospital is over an hour’s drive away . So I was quite pleased when I was offered a telephone appointment instead of an actual appointment for my 6 monthly review of my Parkinson’s condition . This is a good innovation because quite frankly the discussion I have can be as easily done over the phone as it can face to face
I received a letter instructing me to phone the hospital at 10:45 on the day in question and ask to be put through to the Neurology department whereupon I would be connected to my regular consultant.
All well and good I thought as I am in favour of these more efficient arrangements not least because I have attended these 6 monthly reviews for 12 years and for the most part there is no change to my medication.
So on the day in question I rang the general hospital number I was given, but somewhat frustratingly, got an answer machine saying which department do I want to speak to? I said in my best received English ‘neurology’. After a few digital clicks I was put through, it rang and was greeted by a digital recorded message by a person who I suspect English was his second language, saying ‘hello welcome, you’re through to the Urology Department, please leave a message’ etc.etc.
Now as it happens I do have some minor Urology problems (as do most blokes reaching 75), so I was tempted to request an appointment, but recognising that the Neurology consultant would be waiting for me, selected option 25 , to be put back to the main reception.
To my surprise I spoke this time to a real person and explaining my differing ‘ology’ experience she said would they put me through to the right connection this time. After a few familiar digital clicks I got through to what seemed like the same answer phone as before and low and behold I got the same recorded voice saying ‘Hello, Welcome to the Urology department……
Now it is strange that such mistakes are made in this day and age, afterall, I am dictating this little note to MS Word by voice and the computer is accurately recording ‘urology’ as opposed to ‘neurology’ so why cannot the answer phone appreciate the difference between the two, and even more worrying is why can the real person I spoke to fail to recognise the important differences between urology and neurology? No doubt Freud (Sigmund, and probably Lucien) would have a view.
Finally I got through to the main reception for the main hospital and after several times explaining that I wanted neurology not urology and being asked do I mean urology not neurology, I was put through to the right department and was so pleased to have the phone picked up by somebody saying quite clearly, this is the neurology department.
I explained that I had a 10:45 telephone appointment and that I had problems getting through, the nurse was ever so helpful but said that my timeslot had now passed and the professor consultant was now speaking to other patients and I would be sent a new letter in the next few days in order to arrange a new telephone appointment. Wonderful.
Roll on Artificial Intelligence, I’m sure it will be so much better. Meanwhile my Parkinson’s tremor gets noticeably more pronounced.
Stephen Peter Arthur Frean Harrison 